First bond is established with the mother, it is established by the umbilical cord in the mother´s womb prebirth. This is why it is important to speak about established bonds The baby that established the first bond with the mother, starts to slowly walk away from the mother. The dependence is not that important to the baby anymore because it can perform the actions alone. The baby who tastes the pleasure of separation will also experience the anxiety and fear of this experience because of these feelings the baby feels the need to check the presence and closeness of the mother in order to ensure the emotional security. In this process, which we all experience, the attitude of the mother is of great importance: the mother should allow the child to act independently by making the feeling that the baby is with her.Not giving the feeling that there is no support or not allowing the child to act independently can cause great pathologies.It has been determined that mothers who cannot go through this process with their children have these attitudes due to some pathologies.It might be pathalogically unacceptable for some mothers to cut this tie with their children because the child is dependent to their mothers from the first thay they start to form in the womb.However, it should be known that it is normal for the baby to move away from the mother and start to act independently, and it has passed into the literature as‘ self-activation '. The child, whose self-activation is approved by the mother and passed in a healthy way, grows up as a self-confident individual who can make their own decisions at a later age, who is not afraid to be alone, who does not need constant approval by their environment. However, the child who cannot spend the self-activation in a healthy way may experience what Masterson defines as‘ DEPRESSION DUE TO ABANDONMENT ‘when the child does not get the necessary support and emotional support from the mother when the child wants to crawl away from the mother who is first bond and walks away. The child who experiences this situation develops a passive, cowardly and dependent personality in future life by being conditioned as’ if I perform my self-activation, I will be abandoned '. Although individuals who experience this situation have a successful career in their lives or a life in which they are very comfortable financially, it is very difficult for them to eat alone in a restaurant, buy clothes alone or make decisions about their marriage without the opinion of the people around them. It has been observed that individuals whose independent movements and self-activation are approved and supported by their parents can cope with some difficulties in their lives, even if they are alone, and can be successful in difficult conditions and make fast and correct decisions.

J.F.Masterson, who introduced Depression Due to Abandonment to the literature, said, ’If the mother cuts off the emotional fuel she provides to her child (life energy ,libidinal energy…), the child will experience child abandonment depression. No matter how much pain an individual who loses a limb or organ feels, the baby who experiences abandonment depression also feels this level of pain. When we move to a different city, end ties with our lover or when we lose a family member. It is actually a fragment of infant abandonment depression. The traces of childhood feelings can be seen at later ages, so childhood should be spent as healthy as possible and without leaving deep scars. As Edip Cansever said, ‘Like the blue sky, childhood is not going anywhere.' Let childhood be like the blue sky and not slip away anywhere.

References

 Psychotherapy institute//masterson.com magazine park//abandonment depression exisosis//1923

Social phobia is a disorder in which individuals feel intense anxiety and concern about being judged, criticized, and embarrassed by others in social environments. This state of anxiety and worry creates physical symptoms such as tremors, sweating and redness in the body and voice that can be observed by others in individuals. The individual enters an even more complex situation by worrying about the physical symptoms created by anxiety. Thinking that people will see him as ridiculous, boring, weak, etc. they form negative judgments about themselves. In social situations, all their attention is on themselves, they think about how they look in the eyes of others. They avoid social environments and withdraw from them in order not to be in them, not to worry and not to create situations where they can be judged. This situation causes them to be seen as "shy, timid" by others. All these cause people with social anxiety to limit their lives. Symptoms of social phobia such as meeting others, eating out, talking in public, etc. are often exposed. The main symptoms of social phobia are:

·         Palpitation

·         Shortness of breath

·         Dry Mouth

·         Sweating

·         Trembling

·         Digestive problems

·         Muscle pains

There are three main subtypes of social phobia:

1.  Specific Type: It is revealed in specific and special cases.

2.  Common Type: This type is mentioned in most social environments and in cases of distress.

3.  Performance Anxiety: It occurs when the person performs and therefore is the center of attention. (going on stage, mass meals, etc.)

This disorder usually begins in childhood and adolescence. It is much more common in women. Depression, other anxiety disorders and alcohol addiction are very common in individuals with this disorder.

How to Combat Social Anxiety?

Psychotherapy and drug treatments are mostly used in social anxiety treatments. It has been discovered in studies that Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most effective among psychotherapy approaches. Systematic exposure to individuals in therapies, relaxation is aimed to teach how to cope with social phobia and anxiety by applying pieces of training, social skills training, etc. For years to reduce anxiety and relieve the person benzodiazepines and tricyclic antidepressants used alone are not accepted today because they cause addiction in individuals. Today, SSRI treatments are generally preferred and accepted in drug treatments.

References

DATEM. Social Anxietyand Social Anxiety Disorder in All Aspects on 27.11.2023

https://datem.com.tr/blog/tum-yonleriyle-sosyal-kaygi-ve-sosyal-anksiyete-bozuklugu/

Türkiye Psychriatry Association. Social Phobia. Dated 27.11.2023 Sosyal Fobi | TÜRKİYE PSİKİYATRİ DERNEĞİ (psikiyatri.org.tr) 
Anonymous Author. Social Phobia. Dated 27.11.2023  Sosyal Fobi ve Sosyal Fobi Nasıl Yenilir - Klinik Psikolog Cem Kaya .
BDPD. Social Anxiety Disorder. Dated 27.11.2023 
https://www.bilisseldavranisci.com/halka-yonelik/12/sosyal-anksiyete-bozuklugu-sosyal-fobi

Considering the definition in DSM-5; the child behaves limited, emotionally withdrawn towards adult caregivers. When the child is forced, he/she seeks little relief. When the child is forced, he/she reacts very rarely to comforting. 

Although there is no definite cause of reactive attachment disorder, it is thought that physical and emotional neglect and abuse cause the disorder If the child has received inadequate  care, his/her needs are not understood and not met, if there has been a frequent change of caregiver,if he/she does not feel safe, or if he/she has been exposed to inconsistent emotional reactions of his/her parents, the likelihood of this disorder is determined to be high. For example, children who stay in the dormitory in the first years of their lives start life without establishing an emotional bond with their parents they have a feeling of unwantedness and abandonment, they have difficulty in trusting people, they are emotionally deficient even if their physical needs are met, and then they have difficulty in establishing a relationship because their caregivers vary a lot. Afterwards, when they are adopted, they start to react even though they are in a good and loving situation, they have difficulty in feeling positive emotions. They have difficulty in establishing a relationship with their new family. They cannot relax and  calm down. They continue to maintain their trauma response in the first moments of their lives.

Possibility of reactive attachment disorder is 1%.This is because the symptoms of this diagnosis have not been considered and  The reason for this is that the symptoms of this diagnosis have not been paid attention to and are thought to be uncommon. The other reason is that this diagnosis has been accompanied by the diagnoses of hyperactivity disorder,attention deficit and depression.

Reactive attachment disorder is a diagnosis made by psychiatrists. Reactive attachment disorder is confused with autism spectrum disorder. Before the diagnosis is made, two diagnostic criteria are taken into consideration. The criterion that distinguishes reactive attachment disorder from autism is that autism spectrum disorder is a developmental disorder. Abuse or abuse is not among the causes of autism spectrum disorder.

After the diagnosis is made, the help of a psychologist can be obtained. Game therapy support can be obtained. In the treatment of reactive attachment disorder, the strengthening of family ties in an emotional and healthy direction is prioritized. It is aimed that the caregiving parents show their care and love, spend family time with more popular activities and increase positive experiences. It is emotionally empowered by establishing new experiences with child caregivers. This also affects the child's other relationships and the child begins to develop healthy relationships.

How about briefly mentioning how this discomfort found its place in history?

In the early ages, the Ancient Greeks, together with Hippocrates, thought that the abdominal organs were the cause of the emotional disorders that people had, but the word “Hypochondrium” was used since these times, although it represented the underside of the ribcage. However, the treatment of hypochondriasis as a mental illness for the first time was expressed by Thomas Syendham. Pilowski, on the other hand, was the first modern researcher to examine hypochondriasis under three dimensions: excessive effort, fear of disease, and belief in disease. However, this disturbance was included in the DSM-II for the first time in 1968. (Hollifield et al, 2005)

So, what is the lifetime incidence of this disease, both in terms of gender and age?

Studies have shown that the lifetime incidence of hypochondriasis is between 1-5%. APA (2000). However, the incidence of this disorder is higher in gastroenterology, otolaryngology, neurology and endocrinology classes. (Hollifield et al, 2005) Although hypochondriasis is likely to occur at any age, it has generally been found to start in young adulthood. (APA, 2000) In addition, studies in general indicate that this disorder is seen equally in women and men. (Asmundson et al, 2001)

Where does the source of this discomfort come from, can we briefly mention the underlying causes?

In fact, although there is no definitive data on the etiology of somatoform disorders, no clear evidence has been found on the basis of hypochondriasis, whether there is a genetic transition or not. Many researches show that the fact that a person engages in such a mental struggle against his body and has somatic sensitivity shows that the experiences and learning experienced in childhood are important as the primary etiological factor. Here, it is seen that the symptom experienced by many children is almost the same as family members. Adult symptoms, on the other hand, are similar to the symptoms that parents can notice in childhood. (Hollifield et al, 2005)

If we briefly evaluate the cause of this discomfort through certain theories;

First of all, according to the psychodynamic approach, with the suppression and displacement of hostile impulses, depending on the prevention of the discharge of these impulses, there is an increase in tension in the organs or a narcissistic introversion and the transfer of libidinal emotions to the organs.

According to the cognitive approach, children who grow up under the influence of misconceptions and beliefs about their health, especially of anxious parents, may find themselves in automatic thoughts about their bodily sensations when they reach adulthood, such as whether I have a serious disease or whether I will die.

According to the Social Learning Theory, it is stated that the mislearning of the patient's role, which facilitates coping with problems in the early periods, and inappropriate living in adulthood cause this.

Another approach we will add here is that hypochondriasis should be evaluated within a type of Obsessive  Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Underlying this situation are obsessions that the person is seriously ill and compulsions that the person shows health-seeking behavior.

Is there no way for these people, who are almost afflicted with this disease, to be saved from being "sick", must they live for life?

Of course, there is a cure for this disorder, but the most important criterion is that the individual is willing to undergo this treatment and does not show resistance. Frequent and regular examinations of these patients will make them feel that they are taken seriously by their doctors and, as a matter of fact, will give them confidence in their doctors. In this environment of trust, attention should be shifted in different directions so that the patient does not constantly focus on his symptoms. (Köroğlu, 2004). The patient should be prevented from going around, and the purpose of the drug given to him/her should be clearly stated. (Köroğlu, 2007)

Especially, Cognitive therapy, behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, behavioral stress management and psychoeducation have all been found to be effective in reducing hypochondriasis. ||(Thomson, 2007). It has been observed that the "in vivo exposure  and response prevention" technique, which is accepted as one of the behavioral treatment directions, is very effective in the treatment of hypochondriasis. Within the scope of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it is aimed to transform dysfunctional and automatic thoughts that cause the individual to think without affirmation into various alternative thoughts. (Hoffman et al., 2013) Within the framework of this approach, while the therapist and the patient actively cooperate in the sessions, first of all, current problems are examined and focused on this day, and it is aimed to be one's own therapist in a sense by proposing a number of solutions in order to solve the problems they encounter throughout their lives. (Şahin, 2014) 

Health is very important to every person, but if you're at a point where your health is in trouble, a point where you really can't get out, don't hesitate to get support from a health professional. The most important key to getting through this process is to be aware of what you are doing and to act in accordance with the right information and advice in order to increase your awareness.

REFERENCES

American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (4th ed, text rev). Washington, DC: Author.

Asmundson GJG. Taylor S. Sevgur S. Cox BJ. Health anxiety: Classification and clinical features. In G. J. G. Asmundson, S. Taylor, & B. J. Cox (Eds.) Health anxiety: Clinical and research perspectives on hypochondriasis and related disorders (pp. 3 of 21 New York: Wiley.

Çetinkaya, E. and Özer, Ö (2021). Hamidiye Medical Faculty Student Lecture Notes Mental Health and Diseases. Istanbul: University OF Health Sciences

Köroğlu E. Psychonosology. Descriptive Clinical Psychiatry. Ankara: Physicians Publication Union, 2004: 381-408.

Köroğlu E, Güleç C. Basic Book of Psychiatry. Second edition, Ankara: HYB Basım Yayın, 2007: 386-389.

Hollifield MA. Somatoform Disorders. In: Kaplan HI, Sadock BJ. editors. Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry 8th ed. Lippincott Williams & Wilkins; 2005; 1800-1828.

Hofmann SG, Asmundson, G. J., & Beck, A. T. T. The science of cognitive therapy. Behavior Therapy. 2013; 44:199- 212.

Judith S. Beck TGP. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Basics and Herbs. Şahin M, editor: Nobel Academic Publishing;

Thomson AB, Page LA. Psychotherapies for hypochondriasis. Cochrane Database Syst Rev 2007; 4: CD006520.

The similar sentence of love and liking is not wrong, on the other hand, the fine line between them is that love includes liking, but perhaps it also includes a little more intense emotions. A loving relationship can be expected to last longer, but some factors are important. The first of these is similarity. Yes, it can be stated that similarity has positive contributions to making a relationship long-lasting. If we think about two people who met in a friend environment and started to feel attracted to each other, they first understand whether they will enter a serious path with each other by talking about similar views by looking for similar aspects. Ties may not be established very tightly, as it will be difficult to compromise if one says white and the other says black.

Another factor is complementarity. While the similarity above is important, now emphasizing the differences may lead to some contradictions. Similarity plays an important role in the initial establishment phase of relationships. The individual chooses someone for the relationship by focusing on similarities. After entering the relationship, he/she looks for more complementary aspects. To give a concrete example, it is important to know at what level the issue is. It is a high abstract similarity that two people are of the same religion, the same political opinion. However, the fact that one of the same two people enjoys science fiction and the other likes drama is a tangible difference. People with a high level of similarity may be more tolerant of differences at the concrete level.

The last factor is positive interactions. In their study with married couples, Robinson and Price (1980) show that happy couples see more positive aspects, while unhappy couples pay attention only to negative aspects. If the spouses express each other's positive aspects and support each other at this point, their negative aspects gradually decrease and love can be reinforced more.

As a result, there is a fine distinction between loving and liking in relationships. The main reason for some question marks in relationships is hidden in these questions. By listening more to emotions and behaviors, we can see this distinction more clearly. In this way, the other person takes a place in our lives. After this stage, the importance of love in a relationship should be considered. What partners expect from each other and with what emotions they express these expectations are important.

REFERENCES

Cüceloğlu D. (1990), Human and Behavior

Özen Y. (2010), Love and Love Theories from Sensory Field Learning (Myths about Love), Volume: 1

One day, after Sylvia covered her children's room with tape and towels and made sure that their room was not ventilated, she went down to the kitchen and turned on the gas of the stove and attempted suicide. She then committed suicide by sticking his head in the oven, thinking that this was not effective either.

I have always been scared of you,

With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.   

And your neat mustache

And your Aryan eye, bright blue.

Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You——

Not God but a swastika

So black no sky could squeak through.   

Every woman adores a Fascist,   

The boot in the face, the brute   

Brute heart of a brute like you.

The fatherlessness underlying in Sylvia Plath's literary personality and psychology gave strength to her literary pen. One of Sylvia Plath's most important known work is the poem "Daddy", of which there are two lines above. When we look at this poem from a psychological point of view, there are a lot of implications about the concept of the subconscious. Freud explained the perspective of subconscious and tongue slips and jokes on life and events through human psychology. Freud also stated in his theories that the pains that we thought were forgotten or suppressed in childhood may reappear with the events we experienced in adulthood, and even defense mechanisms were developed to cope with the images hidden in the subconscious. When this is examined in terms of Sylvia Plath's literary identity, it can be seen very clearly that her creativity comes from the fatherlessness and lovelessness she experienced in childhood. In addition, Ted Hughes' cheating on her in adulthood may be an example of how the elements of fatherlessness and lovelessness affected her past and future.

The book "The Bell Jar", in which I first met Sylvia Plath, a literary student who has traces of her life and suffers from psychological distress, has the quality to help the psychological analysis of the author. I believe that all the psychological difficulties Sylvia Plath experienced in her life strengthened her literature. Although her death was premature and tragic, Sylvia Plath left works that would make her name known to the world at the age of thirty and was able to touch people's lives. 

References

Aljhani, A. (2010). Critical approaches had been taken by many critics to investigate Sylvia Plath's Daddy poem: Biographical and psychological approaches. Retrieved from goo.gl/LxVRG8.

Sandtray therapy is an non-verbal therapeutic approach led by the therapist or client, using sandtray and miniatures as means of communication.

Sandtray therapy is the combination of play and art therapy. Through metaphors, people describe their inner troubles. Sandtray therapy was developed by Margaret Lowenfeld and Dora Kalff based on Carl Jung's psychological approach. Many different techniques of various therapeutic approaches can be applied in the sandtray as well.

Sandtray therapy includes a blue sandtray, sand, water and various miniature figures representing the inner world of the human being to create a story. With these figures, the client is asked to create a world on the sand. Through metaphor, the client allows the reflection of his own inner world. It provides the opportunity to describe him/herself in a non-verbal way as much as verbally possible. It offers the opportunity to solve confusions, remove obstacles in  life and achieve self-acceptance. It helps the person to realize the past and present difficulties that cannot be revealed in life. It allows the body to process the emotions it stores through symbols from implicit memory.

The tray is limited; as a safe and protected area, it is for the client to discover memories and experiences that he/she has difficulty speaking and is uncomfortable with. The inside of the tray is blue, which is for giving a relaxing and refreshing feeling like the sky and the sea.

The reason for using sand is that it both leaves a good feeling in our body and creates space to give us the shape we want. You can draw something on it, create waves, shapes or just touch it. It can carry all its figures on it."The bond we establish with the sand reminds us of the bond we establish with the spirit within us." says Homeyer. In therapy, it is necessary to use real sand that occurs naturally. There are usually two trays in the therapy room, wet and dry sand.

The world or scene created through the figures reflects the inner world of the client. When the consultant completes the sandtray, the therapist and the client talk about what they have observed. After the consultant's conversation, he/she can make changes on the tray if he/she wishes. Many situations such as which theme the consultant prefers, which themes he/she avoids, the way he/she puts the miniatures on the tray, whether the tray is empty or full are made sense in the therapy.

Although this form of therapy is generally used for children, it is also reported to be beneficial for adolescents and adults.

The sandtray can be guided (the therapist may ask the client to create a world on the tray over a specific topic) or non-directed (the client creates his/her own world).

Sandtray therapy can be worked with individuals who have experienced traumatic events, individuals with many problems such as grief and loss, aggression, social communication difficulties, low self-confidence, depression, anxiety, and attention deficit.