Emotional abuse is the deprivation of nutrition, protection, love, supervision and education by caregivers, as well as criticism, responsibility, discrimination and worthlessness behaviours. Physical abuse is the injury of the child by a person or persons older than the child. It starts with slapping, pushing, kicking, shaking, pinching and continues with the use of belts, household items, hoses and various tools. It is the most common and obvious type of abuse. 

According to research, it has been observed that people with high self-compassion can cope better with depression and anxiety. Although self-compassion depends on people's character, people can increase their self-compassion with many cognitive exercises and techniques. Mindfulness techniques can increase awareness of self-compassion. When we are left with an irrational belief and begin to blame ourselves instead of focusing on the solution, it is important to recognize the moment and find balance. When irrational thoughts come to our mind, it is possible to avoid this situation by reflecting on our experiences and awareness of that moment instead of exaggerating these thoughts and thinking obsessively.

References 

Neff, K. D. (2011). Self‐compassion, self‐esteem, and well‐being. Social and personality psychology compass, 5(1), 1-12.

Allen, A. B., & Leary, M. R. (2010). Self‐Compassion, stress, and coping. Social and personality psychology compass, 4(2), 107-118.

 Impulsivity is more common in boys than girls. Children who are impulsive also have difficulty controlling their emotions, planning and managing time. For example, a 5-year-old child may have a nervous breakdown and a crying fit when he/she does not get what he/she wants at that moment, while a 14-year-old child may engage in risky behavior such as sharing inappropriate content on social media or drinking alcohol.

Impulsivity can also be a symptom of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Research shows that the part of the brain of children with ADHD, located in the prefrontal cortex, which provides impulse control, produces logical solutions and contains the decision-making mechanism, develops slowly. Children with ADHD are more impulsive than children without ADHD. Therefore, therapists need to consider this point when making evaluations.

There are some things that can be done to teach impulse control to impulsive children. For example, you can teach primary school children to save money. When the child has a piggy bank, it will motivate him/her to patiently try to save his/her money and eventually buy what he/she wants with his/her own money. Not having the things they want right away teaches children to delay gratification. Also, you can use the Stop and think method. You can inform the child about this beforehand and then remind him/her to 'Stop and Think' before doing a risky behavior. If he/she stops, you can reward him/her.

Final method is for increase your child's waiting times. You can keep time by giving him/her small tasks that require him/her to wait, and share with him/her how long he/she is waiting. You can give clearer and shorter instructions so that you do not confuse your child about his/her behavior.

There are many methods for dealing with negative emotions. First of all, it is important to define oneself. One should get rid of people's judgments and make his own definitions about himself, not resort to an outside source.

Emotions do not always reflect reality. Emotions emerge when the person interprets them with his own reality. Asking for help from time to time is another way to cope with negative emotions. Asking for help and seeking advice is not bad either. It can even help the person cope with negative emotions.

Living in the moment and being in the moment is also one of the important factors. Carrying the burdens of the past can make it difficult for a person to cope with negative emotions. A person should focus on leaving the negative days behind and enjoy the moment.

One of the most important ways to become aware of emotions can be understood by trying to make sense of what the person's emotions mean to them when negative emotions are felt. For this, the person should allow his/her emotions to come to mind in a quiet and comfortable environment and focus on the real reasons underlying the negative emotions he/she feels.

References

ANSARI, S. (2020). NEGATIVE EMOTIONS: THE MECHANISMS TO DEAL WITH IT. 

People encounter many problems in the course of life. These problems need to be solved and solving these problems depends on a decision. Decision-making proceeds as a process and this is cognitive. It emerges with the joint work of mental and psychological functions. Decision making has an important place in human thought systematics. Together with psychological factors and capacities, the human brain has a near-perfect capability and equipment for thinking, judgement and decision-making. In psychology, decision-making is described as a mental process that results in the selection of an opinion or behaviour from among possible options. Whether or not the decision-making event has an effect, it necessarily determines a choice. Decision-making has been analysed from a psychological and brain working perspective and several hypotheses and variables have been evaluated and put forward as influential in this process.   

The word "languish", which means "the state of being in something", describes this situation. Languishing, It refers to a mental state in which a person has low energy levels, lacks motivation, and is generally unable to enjoy life. Although this situation is not a full-fledged state of depression, it represents being at an intermediate point where the individual's mental health is affected. Psychologists state that languishing is associated with factors such as long-term stress, uncertainty and social isolation. In this state, people feel an inner emptiness, lack of motivation and a general loss of energy, even though they seem to be present in life.

Symptoms of Languishing Syndrome

The languishing syndrome can manifest itself with many different symptoms. The first obvious sign is a constant feeling of fatigue. Taking part in daily activities becomes increasingly difficult as energy levels decrease; This may be combined with insomnia or a tendency to oversleep. Lack of motivation occurs with a significant decrease in the desire to achieve goals. The fear of failure in work, school or personal projects increases, and a hopeless perspective on the future prevails.

The languishing syndrome is also characterized by loss of interest. Previously enjoyed activities become uninteresting, and interest in hobbies or social activities decreases. This can be compounded by difficulties with mental focus. Distraction and focus problems can cause difficulty starting and finishing tasks. Emotionally, the individual experiences sudden fluctuations; Irritability increases, emotional emptiness and numbness are frequently felt. An individual who tends to be socially isolated may avoid communicating and move away from social interactions. In general, with these symptoms, a general feeling of malaise occurs, a significant decrease in the quality of life is observed, and a feeling of hopelessness and uncertainty about the future becomes dominant.

Ways to Deal with Languishing

Coping with Languishing syndrome requires a sensitive approach to the individual's own needs. Here are some suggested methods for dealing with languishing syndrome:

a. Setting Small Goals: Focusing on small, achievable goals instead of big goals can increase motivation.

b. Meditation and Mindfulness: It may be important to try meditation and mindfulness techniques to strengthen mental health.

c. Strengthening Social Connections: Communicating regularly with family and friends can strengthen social bonds and provide support.

d. Physical Activity: Regular exercise releases endorphins and can improve overall mood.

e. Seeking Professional Help: If Languishing syndrome persists, it is important to consult a professional. Professional help can be effective in dealing with such situations.

The languishing syndrome is a reflection of the way we cope with the challenges of the modern world. However, by being aware of this situation and addressing it, we can improve our personal quality of life and strengthen our mental health. Small steps can lead to big changes, and steps taken to manage languishing syndrome can improve our overall life satisfaction.

REFERENCE

• Keyes, C. L. (2002). The mental health continuum: From languishing to flourishing in life. Journal of health and social behavior, 207-222.

 The theory of defense mechanisms is basically based on Freud's personality theory. Freud argued that personality has three main elements:

·       Id: The pleasure-oriented impulsive side of the personality, where basic needs and impulses reside

·       Ego: Tries to balance the conflict between the id and superego, the aspect of the personality that copes with reality

·       Superego: The moral and conscientious aspect of personality, which includes social and moral norms

 As can be understood, the id and superego work in opposition to each other and therefore they conflict. Here the ego tries to balance this conflict and at the same time develops various strategies to cope with the anxiety arising from this conflict. The negative experiences we encounter in daily life can develop negative feelings, thoughts and behavior patterns in the individual. For example, we develop defense mechanisms and use them unconsciously to cope with emotions such as shame, sadness, guilt, but most importantly, to protect our self-esteem. In this context, defense mechanisms are quite natural. If used proportionately and appropriately, we can get over negative experiences more easily and quickly, thus protecting our self and psychological well-being. However, excessive and long-term use of defense mechanisms can cause the person to lose their perception of reality and hinder the functioning of the self, therefore leading to pathological problems.

1.        Denial: One of the most commonly used defense mechanisms is denial. In the face of situations that the individual cannot accept or cope with, denying the existence of that situation to the extent that it does not disrupt the individual's self-integrity and perception of reality. The individual ignores the reality that he/she cannot cope with, ignores it and acts as if nothing had happened. Although its excessive use may pose a threat to the perception of reality, it can help one overcome traumatic experiences and emotions. However, excessive and long-term use of defense mechanisms can cause the person to lose their perception of reality and hinder the functioning of the self, therefore leading to pathological problems.

2.        Repression: Pushing into the unconscious the memories, emotions and most importantly, impulses that are contrary to the ego and self-esteem and that are deemed inappropriate, by trying to forget them. Unlike denial, there is awareness of the emotions and situations experienced, but this situation is pushed into the unconscious and confrontation is avoided. It is an energy-consuming defense mechanism that is constantly used to avoid the anxiety caused by the impulses reaching consciousness.

3.        Regression: The individual who cannot cope with the difficulties he/she faces and the responsibilities and duties of that age period returns to earlier childhood periods and exhibits childish behavior. The aim here is to reduce worry and anxiety by returning to the age at which one can cope and feels safer. Although it is most common in children, it can also be seen in adults after some traumatic experiences.  

4.        Projection: It means that the person attributes the feelings, thoughts, desires and impulses that he/she cannot accept and sees as flaws in himself/herself to other people and puts the blame on them. They act as if these thoughts and patterns were on the other side and not on themselves. They are not responsible for their own failures. For example, a student who gets a low grade in the exam and blames the teacher is an example of this defense mechanism. In short, it is a person's explanation of emotions, behaviors and thought patterns that do not suit him/herself through others and attributing them to them. People who constantly use this defense mechanism have 'paranoid tendencies'.

5.        Rationalization: It is aimed to reduce the negative emotions felt by being aware and conscious of the wrongness of the action taken and producing acceptable and logical excuses. For example, a thief may claim that he/she is entitled to the things he/she stole, or someone who gets a low grade on the exam may argue that he/she does not like the course anyway and that this course is not important to him/her.

6.        Sublimation: This defense mechanism is a relatively more positive defense mechanism. It is the ability of a person to turn his/her impulses, which would be considered inappropriate by the society, into positive and useful actions that will be accepted by the society. For example, someone with sadistic tendencies becomes a surgeon.

7.        Displacement: It is when a person directs emotions such as anger and resentment to the person he/she sees as a weaker link, rather than to the person who is the main source of these emotions. For example, a man who is scolded by his boss displays angry behavior towards his wife at home, rather than towards his boss.

8.        Opposing reaction: It is the act of an individual who is aware of how he feels, acting and expressing as if he feels the opposite. If the emotion is positive, it can be turned into negative, and if it is negative, it can be turned into positive. For example, a woman who judges and criticizes her friend for being with a man actually wants to have a partner.

9.        Undoing: Invalidating an inappropriate or faulty action by doing the opposite, and compensating for the mistake in one's own way. Balancing faulty experience with positive action. For example, a man who cheats on his wife takes his wife on vacation.

10.    Asceticism: The individual's complete abstinence from actions that he/she would enjoy in order to avoid social pressure and the guilt and pleasure that impulsive behavior would cause.

 References

DBE.(2022,07,28). SAVUNMA MEKANİZMALARI NEDİR VE NASIL İŞLER?.DBE. https://www.dbe.com.tr/tr/yetiskin-ve-aile/11/savunma-mekanizmalari-nedir-ve-nasil-isler/

Cilmeli, E. Savuma Mekanizmaları.11 Kasım 2023 tarihinde https://www.monapsikoloji.com/savunma-mekanizmalari/  adresinden erişildi.

Karaoğlu B. Savunma Mekanizmaları. 11 Kasım 2023 tarihinde http://www.izmirterapist.com/makale/15/savunma-mekanizmalari  adresinden erişildi.

Anonim yazar. Savunma Mekanizmaları. 11 Kasım 2023 tarihinde https://sisliterapi.com/blog/psikoloji/savunma-mekanizmalari  adresinden erişildi

 While Freud brought a new perspective to the psychoanalytic approach, Jung explained this with collective consciousness on archetypes. Self is an archetype that person is trying to reach in his/her life, however, it's difficult to reach through his/her life. It's one of the most important archetype. For the development of the self , person need to overcome selfishness fear and arrogance. The ego is another archetype. The ego is divided into two: somatic and mental. The ego is a reference and is independent. Accordingly, the ego is unique and individual. Persona is the last archetype. It helps to connect with the outside world. Persona is a flexible thing and it's not a rigid structure. Persona gives opportunity for adapting; such as social values , behavioral adjustment and standards in a society. Persona is in between three factors: I, the ideal self and social model of human. If relationship of these 3 concepts damages then person also deficits.

            Collective consciousness, which is described as the genetic transfer that came from the first humans in the past and was passed on to us by our ancestors, continues to show its effect in the modern world. Although today's modern world varies greatly compared to the past, it is still possible to see traces of collective consciousness. With the development of technology, collective consciousness appears in different forms today. Collective consciousness and globalization have become more widespread in the scientific field with the invention of radio, television and telephone. For this reason, technology has become one of the biggest factors in determining people's archetypes. Artificial intelligence is one of the most important precursors of collective consciousness in the 21st century. Today, neuropsychology, collective consciousness and artificial intelligence research continues rapidly and there will be major breakthroughs in this field in the future.

REFERENCES

•  Adamski, A. (2011). Archetypes and the collective unconscioues of Carl G. Jung in the light of quantum Psychology. NeuroQuantology, 9 (3) , 563-571.
• Jung, C. G. (1936). The concept of the collective unconscious. Collected works, 9(1), 42.

The difference between overthinking and normal thinking has to do with the intensity, continuity and effects of thought processes. Normal thinking is a process that occurs naturally when making daily decisions, solving problems, or generating new ideas. These thoughts usually focus on a specific topic, are logical, and have a natural flow. Overthinking is a continuous and excessively detailed cycle of thinking about a particular topic, problem, or event. These thoughts are repetitive and often focus on negative outcomes. An overthinker keeps thinking about the same issue over and over again, and this often negatively affects the person's mental and emotional health. Normal thinking is part of the healthy decision-making process. A person can make the right decisions by thinking, analyzing and evaluating information when necessary. Overthinking can complicate a person's decision-making process, create indecision, and lead the person to unnecessary anxiety. This often leads to stress, anxiety and sleep problems. In summary, while normal thinking refers to a healthy thought process, overthinking is characterized by constant, repetitive and negative thought cycles, which can negatively impact a person's quality of life.

Causes of overthinking may include uncertainty about the future, emotional states (e.g., stress, anxiety, depression), and perfectionism. These situations can trigger a tendency to overthink. Symptoms of overthinking can include insomnia, fatigue, constant indecisiveness, and negative thoughts. These symptoms can disrupt sleep patterns, make decision-making difficult, and exaggerate negative scenarios. Developing mindfulness, taking mental breaks (for example, practicing relaxation techniques such as meditation), and seeking professional support if necessary are important ways to deal with overthinking. These methods can be effective for controlling the problem of overthinking.

As a result, healthy thinking is important for understanding the complexity of life. However, when the thought process becomes excessive, it can harm a person's mental and emotional health. Awareness, support and the right methods are important to recognize the signs of overthinking and cope with this process.

REINCARNATION BEHAVIOURS IMMATURE PARENTS  

The Pygmalion effect, or the fact that what one person expects from another becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, relates generally to the effects of interpersonal expectations. Today, the “Pygmalion effect” generally refers to the fact that people, mostly children, students or employees, tend to perform better when driven to fulfill what is expected of them and are treated as if they can succeed.

 History of the Pygmalion Effect

The Pygmalion effect was first seen in Ancient Greece. In Greek mythology, it begins with Pygmalion, a Cypriot sculptor, making a statue of a woman. Pygmalion falls in love with this statue he made so much that he wants to marry it. Everyone tells Pygmalion that this is impossible and that he is an inanimate being, but Pygmalion does not care about people and says that one day the statue will come to life and he will marry her. Pygmalion wholeheartedly believes what he said and, without ever doubting that it will come true, waits for the statue Galatea to become a real person, and for what it was worth, the statue has now become a living woman. Pygmalion and Galatea live a beautiful life full of love.

The experiment conducted by Rosenthal and Jacobson is the one that best describes the Pygmalion effect in the world of psychology. The experiment is as follows; Rosenthal and Jacobson say that in one school, students were given an intelligence test and teachers were given a list of highly intelligent students in their classes, but in fact, these students were randomly selected. The result of the experiment is as follows: it was noted that there was a real improvement in the student names given to the teachers. Because teachers knew that students had high intelligence, they expected more from students and paid particular attention to them. As a result, it was observed that there was a real increase in the intelligence levels of randomly selected students. The experiment showed that teachers' expectations worked as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In the Pygmalion effect, it is claimed that when a person communicates his or her expectations explicitly or indirectly to the other party, he or she actually has the power to influence the emotions, attitudes, and behaviors of others around him or her (Poornima and Chakraborty, 2010). According to this theory, our beliefs and predictions about people affect individuals' lives positively or negatively. We experience this situation in many areas of our lives, for example, we can be seen to be exposed to this effect in different areas such as family life, education life and business life. Some of the most common sentence patterns in which we can see the self-fulfilling prophecy are;

"Everyone I love will leave me"

"Whenever something good happens to me, something bad happens immediately."

"I am very unlucky"

Let's say a person has a strong belief that everyone will abandon him. This person will somehow be in the position of being abandoned in their relationships and will not want to see their own role in this matter. As a result, they will always focus on being abandoned as they believe and know, and this relationship cycle will continue as long as they do not get rid of that belief. Our brain always tries to justify what we believe. This effort is reflected in our behavior and actions, even if we are not aware of it. This is how the self-fulfilling prophecy comes true. Of course, it doesn't always have to happen in a negative way. We have all witnessed that a person who claims and believes that he is very lucky in every situation is really very lucky. The Pygmalion effect explains this situation to us.

 
Ultimately, the Pygmalion effect highlights the power of people's expectations to create reality. This effect can positively or negatively affect individuals' performance, showing that people's own beliefs and expectations are fundamental in determining their potential. The Pygmalion effect demonstrates how powerful people can be in shaping the success of others, while also providing a key to understanding the complexity and potential of human nature.

REFERENCES:

• Rosenthal, R. (2010). Pygmalion effect. The Corsini encyclopedia of psychology, 1-2.

• Chang, J. (2011). A Case Study of the" Pygmalion Effect": Teacher Expectations and Student Achievement. International education studies, 4(1), 198-201.

• CEMALOĞLU, N. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.

Stockholm Syndrome is defined as a kidnapping victim feeling a positive emotional bond towards the kidnapper. It is assumed that this bond forms a defense mechanism for the victim, enabling him to empathize with his captor, leading him to accept the situation, limiting defiance and aggression towards his captor, and otherwise surviving a potentially dangerous situation. Hence the term Stockholm syndrome, as it creates a bond with the criminal traumatic attachment It is used in the same sense as the term.

When Did Stockholm Syndrome Appear?

Stockholm syndrome takes its name from a failed bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1973. Jan-Erik Olsson, who was responsible for the bank robbery attempt, entered the bank with a gun and took four bank employees hostage (McKenzie, 2004:7). Olsson made some requests from the police who came to the scene (Bringing his prison friend Clark Oderth Olofsson, money and a car) (Namnyak et al., 2008: 5). Olsson, who used hostages to fulfill his demands, also allowed the hostages to search for their families in the safe area of ​​the bank (Jameson, 2010: 342). This bank robbery attempt lasted about six days (Adorjan et al., 2010: 457). Finally, as a result of the operation carried out by the police, Olsson agreed to surrender (Ase, 2015: 3-4). Four bank employees who were released as a result of the failed bank attempt made interesting statements. In their statements, they stated that they were afraid of the police, not the hostage person (Smith, 2009:1). They also defended the person who took them hostage and did not agree to testify against him (Adorjan et al., 2010: 457). Stockholm Syndrome emerged to explain the positive feelings hostages feel towards the person who took them hostage and why they formed such a bond with this person who restricted their freedom (Smith, 2009: 1). The person who claimed Stockholm syndrome was Psychiatrist Bejerot, who was with the police during the bank robbery (Ase, 2015: 4). Psychiatrist Bejerot explains the reactions of the hostages'classic brainwashing response'' and named it Stockholm syndrome (Adorjan et al., 2012: 457).

What Causes Stockholm Syndrome and How Does It Develop?

There are theories about why Stockholm syndrome develops, and Graham's theory is the most frequently cited. Graham argued that Stockholm syndrome occurs when certain conditions exist: Graham created this theory as a result of his study of nine different groups of victims. Graham expressed his theory as follows (Graham,1994: 3)

• Feeling a threat to the person's survival and thinking that the kidnapper will most likely carry out this threat,

• Perception of even a small good by the captive from the captor's actions,

• Permanent alienation from perspectives other than that of the captor,

• The victim's feeling of inability to escape.

In an event where these conditions occur, the victim falls under the influence of the person who victimized him (Garip, 2017: 4). People's instinct to survive such terrible experiences is a stronger impulse than their desire to be angry at the person who made them experience this (Strentz, 1980: 148). It is therefore claimed that victims' identification with their captors is a protective mechanism brought on by stress (Adorjan et al., 2012: 458).

Stockholm Syndrome: Case Example; The Captivity of Natascha Kampusch

Natascha Kampusch (NK), the victim of the incident that took place in Vienna in 1998, was kidnapped by Wolfgang Priklopil on her way to school when she was only 10 years old. Kampusch, who was tortured for 8 years, escaped in 2006 by taking advantage of Priklopil's distraction. After Kampusch escaped, Priklopil committed suicide (Namnyak et al., 2008: 7). Natascha Kampusch stated in an interview that she exchanged information with the man who held her captive for a long time, that he became an important part of her life and that she was saddened by his death.

Finally, Stockholm Syndrome emerges as a striking phenomenon that demonstrates the complexity of human psychology and how people can form emotional bonds under challenging conditions. Stockholm Syndrome is not a phenomenon limited to hostage situations, but provides an example that helps us understand how complex and deep the bonds between people can be. Stockholm Syndrome remains important as a subject of ongoing study and learning in psychology and social sciences, highlighting the complexity of human nature and the strength of people's instinct for solidarity.

Reference;

• Namnyak, M., Tufton, N., Szekely, R., Toal, M., Worboys, S., & Sampson, E. L. (2008). ‘Stockholm syndrome’: psychiatric diagnosis or urban myth?. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, 117(1), 4-11.

• ÖZDOĞAN, D., & DUSHUKCAN, M. (2023). STOCKHOLM SYNDROME.Management and Organization Syndromes 2, 7.

HOW ARE THE SCHEMES OCCUR?
 One of the most important feelings for babies is a sense of security. In order for them to see the world as a reliable place, their needs must be met consistently. Babies' parents' who feel safe are emotionally and physically approachable. They're always there. The baby is not neglected, or abandoned, and gets love. Abandonment schema, skepticism schema, and abuse schema may arise in a child who does not get a basic sense of security (Young & Klosko, 2011, p. 46 48). They think that they will be abandoned at any moment, that others will abuse them, that everyone is biding their time to do something behind their back. It's hard for them to trust someone.

 Babies who feel safe connect safely. Bowlby (1969) defined attachment as feeling a closeness to a person and maintaining it (Demirkan, 2006). Children who are securely connected adapt well. An emotional withdrawal scheme and a social isolation scheme may occur in a child who cannot connect securely (Young & Klosko, 2011 p. 48-49). In their adult life, they feel that no one will truly love them and that they cannot belong anywhere.

 Children need autonomy in order to establish a separate world from their parents and to have an identity. They should take enough responsibility, and be supported in doing it alone. In this regard, unsupported children may have a dependency scheme and a resilience scheme (Young & Klosko, 2011 p. 49-50) Even when they become an adult, they have difficulty separating from their families financially and spiritually. They think that they cannot face the difficulties of life alone. They are always looking for people who will take care of them and protect them.

 Besides autonomy, a sense of self-confidence is also important. Children who cannot be raised with self-confidence may have imperfection and failure schemes (Young & Klosko, 2011 p. 51-52). Even if everything in your life goes regularly (a regular job, a good relationship, a good social environment, etc.) deep down, they still feel imperfect. ’There's always something missing," they think. On the contrary, these people may not have developed some skills because they grew up insecure. As a result, they may actually be failing.

 Children need to express themselves and show their feelings. They should know that their own needs are just as important as others. Children who grow up without being encouraged to express themselves may have a subordination scheme and a high standards scheme (Young & Klosko, 2011 p. 52-54). Some people can't make decisions on their own, while others want to be very successful at everything. Their standards are very high. 

 In addition to knowing their own needs, children also need realistic boundaries to be set by their parents. While parents support when it comes to the place, when it comes to the place, they should put limits on some things. Children who grow up with parents who cannot set realistic boundaries may have an entitlement scheme (Young & Klosko, 2011 p. 54-56). Although the origins of schemes differ from person to person, their common aspect is that they harm the individual (Bintaş Zörer, 2015).

THE DIFFICULTY OF REPETITION
 Schemes trigger our emotions, they affect our relationships. Even if we don't realize it sometimes, they are always there somewhere in our lives. At the point when we say ‘Something is always missing’ when our life is going well, when our life is not going well, ‘Why is this happening?‘ at the point when we say and we constantly establish relationships with people in the same style, when we experience events in the same style, "Why do the same things always find me, the same people all the time?’ at the point we said, the diagrams appear before us.

 As a child, we were neglected, abandoned, insufficiently loved, harassed, found defective, and criticized. When we become adults, we are with people who neglect, abandon, do not love us enough, harass and criticize us. We see these repetitions in our romantic relationships, in our business lives, and in our friendship relationships. Freud called this the "repetition compulsion". We make ourselves experience the pain of our childhood over and over again. For example, people with self-neglecting parents marry someone who neglects themselves. Children whose parents do not show them enough love feel attracted to partners who do not show their love in adulthood.

 When we have already experienced the pain of this in childhood, why do we repeat it in our adult life? Psychoanalyst Steven Cooper (2015) explains the reason for repetition compulsion by likening the place where the incident occurred to a crime scene. According to Cooper (2015), a person tries to solve the pain by going to the same scene and experiencing it over and over again. According to the schema approach, the emotions that trigger the schema are familiar emotions. It makes us feel at home. They're comfortable. We don't need to leave our comfort zone. There is no uncertainty, they provide a sense of control. Even if it hurts, it's familiar. This is how we learn about the world. Although abused children label people as ‘unreliable’, they still choose unreliable people in their life. Because this is what they have learned and believe. To give up our belief in the scheme means also to give up our belief that we know what the world is like. In a way, if we give up this belief, we think that we will fall into uncertainty, thinking that we will not know the world. No matter how much it hurts, we don't do it.

 Our inherent trust in the schemas provides us with a sense of consistency. This feeling of consistency is part of the human motive. That is why it is difficult to change the schemes. Although it is difficult, it is not impossible. The first step to change is to understand it. ‘What is my thought that makes me become like this? Why do I think like this, what can I do not think like this?" with questions such as " the first step to understanding our scheme can be taken.

Bibliography

• Cooper, S.H. (2015). Reflections on the Analyst’s “Good Enough” Capacity to Bear Dissappointment with Special Attention to Repetition. Journal of the American Psy. Ass. 63 (6), 1193-1213.
• Demirkan, S. (2006) Özel Sektördeki Yöneticilerin ve Çalışanların Bağlanma Stilleri, Kontrol Odağı, İş Doyumu ve Beş Faktör Kişilik Özelliklerinin Araştırılması. Yayınlanmamış Yüksek Lisans Tezi,Ankara Üniversitesi Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü.
• Young, J. E. & Klosko J. S. (2011). Hayatı yeniden keşfedin. İstanbul: Psikonet Yayınevi
• Zörer, P. B. (2015). Bağlanma kuramı perspektifinden sosyal kaygı: Erken dönem uyumsuz şemalar ve reddedilme duyarlılığının rolü. Yayınlanmamış yüksek lisans tezi. Uludağ Üniversitesi Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü.

   So, is everyone in the group as attractive as we think? 

Where Does Munchausen Come From?

Munchausen Syndrome got its name from the German Baron Karl Friedrich von Munchausen, who lived in the 18th century. The German Baron, after returning from the Ottoman-Russian War, recounted extraordinary stories of his heroism. These stories were so extraordinary that they included exaggerated and supernatural elements and became widely circulated through word of mouth. However, many of these stories were fabricated and exaggerated. That's why Munchausen became synonymous with deceit. The term "Munchausen" was later applied to describe a condition where individuals feign illnesses and go from one hospital to another, a behavior observed by Asher in 1951.

So What Is Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome?

In the most general terms, Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome (MBPS) can be defined as a caregiver pretending that a child has one or more illnesses and continually bringing the child to the hospital for unnecessary medical attention. The caregiver may even administer various medications to make the child appear ill. In some extreme cases, the caregiver might go so far as to cause the child's death.

MBPS was first used in 1977 to describe two children who were subjected to severe abuse as their mothers persistently induced illnesses in them. After this diagnosis, many similar cases started to surface worldwide. Interestingly, MBPS cases often appear in medical specialties such as pediatrics, neurology, and endocrinology rather than psychiatric services.

Research on MBPS has shown that children under the age of 6 and adolescents are generally at a higher risk, particularly those who are vulnerable and unable to protect themselves.

Profile of the Abuser:

In these cases, the abuser is usually the mother and possesses significant medical knowledge. They may even conduct research on various diseases and scrutinize medical opinions. Paradoxically, MBPS mothers often appear very affectionate, caring, and loving, which helps them gain the attention of those around them. They believe that they are good mothers who genuinely care for their children. This perception satisfies them, and they want others to see it as well. Consequently, these mothers are motivated to maintain their abusive behavior and continue it systematically. When faced with exposure, they may try to change hospitals quickly.

When a child is hospitalized and separated from the perpetrator, improvement can be observed. Therefore, the caregiver may want to remain close to the child as much as possible. If they are advised to stay away from the child for a while, they may react strongly and refuse this separation. This reaction can be likened to a child's response when a toy is taken away from them.

Typically, individuals who engage in such behavior are predominantly women, usually married. This can lead to addressing problems within the household. By creating these circumstances of abuse, they can deflect attention away from issues at home. Essentially, the abuse serves as a barrier to larger problems within the household.

Many Munchausen mothers have a negative self-concept and adopt the role of a caregiver to define themselves. They may believe that they can validate themselves through their child's illness and gain acceptance in this way.

What Is Recommended?

MBPS is not only a psychological issue but also a legal and sociological problem that needs to be addressed from multiple perspectives. Its multifaceted nature makes it even more critical to tackle. There is no specific treatment method because the individuals responsible for MBPS typically do not accept treatment. The most crucial step is to detect and remove the child from the abuser as soon as possible. Early diagnosis is vital because the severity of abuse can increase, sometimes leading to fatal outcomes. Child protection is paramount; otherwise, the child is likely to suffer physical, psychological, academic, and psychosocial development problems.

Sigmund Freud developed the Psychoanalytic Theory of Personality to understand human behavior, thought processes and personality. In this theory, Freud gathered personality under the name of three basic components: Id, Ego and Superego.

The complexities lurking in the depths of the human mind are one of psychology's most fascinating and elusive subjects. Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theory provides a framework that helps us unlock the keys to this inner world. Freud considers personality as three basic components: Id, Ego, and Superego. These three concepts are the cornerstones of human behavior and are at the center of a constant process of conflict and balancing deep within our mental processes.

ID

Id is the most primitive and basic impulse of humans. Id is present from the moment we are born, that is, it is innate. The Id represents one's search for instant gratification and is not concerned with things like logic, morals, rules, or social norms. The id's desires are usually related to basic needs such as hunger, sexual desires, and aggression. Id acts like a little kid and tries to get what he wants right away. The id symbolizes the devil on a person's left shoulder.

EGO

The ego is a component that seeks to satisfy the instinctive impulses raised by one's Id in acceptable and appropriate ways. The ego tries to fulfill the demands of the id within the framework of reality, and logic, within the boundaries of the real world. That is, the ego makes the id's requests feasible and tries to keep the id under control. The ego has to satisfy not only the id's wishes but also the superego. The ego tries to reconcile the wishes of the id and superego and to find a logical middle ground. That is, the ego tries to balance the id and superego. The ego represents a middle-class person with the superego on the right shoulder and the id on the left.

SUPEREGO

The superego is an afterthought. The superego is formed within the framework of family teachings, ethical rules and social norms. The superego can be called, in short, our 'conscience'. Like an internal judge, he checks the decisions we make, whether they are right or wrong. In fact, the superego controls the ego's decisions. When the ego makes a decision, it looks at its compliance with ethics, morals, laws and social norms. The superego is the controller of the ego. The superego is symbolized by the angel on a person's right shoulder.

Let's give an example to be more descriptive; For example, let's think of someone who is very hungry and this person lacks our most basic need of food, where id comes in and wants to eat something immediately and wants to take the sandwich that he saw in someone else's hand, but he can't buy it because ego stops the id and rationally takes something he has. He wants her to eat and prevents him from stealing. In this situation, the superego is satisfied because the ego makes a decision according to the laws and social norms.

Finally, Id, Ego and Superego help us understand the complexity of human behavior and thought processes. These three components cause a war within us. According to Freud, personality is the result of a continuous process of conflict and balancing between these three components. The struggle between the id's desire for instant gratification and the control mechanisms of the ego and superego shapes personality development. Freud's psychoanalytic theory of personality helps us better understand the psychological processes underlying human behavior and provides an important theoretical framework in psychology.

It has become quite common lately to have fortune-telling without gender discrimination. What can be the expectations and purposes of people closing their cups?

Let's find an answer to this protector through the motif of destiny. It is an effort for people to learn this unknown again by means of fortune telling or similar tools, where they can see their destiny as an unchangeable destiny. The concept we call the destiny motif is actually an excellent tool for our curiosity and desires.

Motifs are repetitive tools. For example, a person who has summed up as unloved in his past life will have a war that he cannot be loved right now, and a war that he will not be loved 10 years from now. At which point the person aims to change himself, there is to protect his life.

Basically, we hate the color pairing from our own mind, such as fear, hope, failure, joy, that a person can experience throughout their life. Then we will decide which color is dominant in our daily life. The dominant situation or emotion forms our motif. After that, let's try to draw what we almost experienced or saw this feeling in our past. We can call this situation “Knowing Yourself” in psychology. It is very important for a person to determine his motive first in order to direct his destiny.

The concept of destiny has been passed on to us as an unchangeable situation since our ancestors, of course, there are parts of it, but not completely. The decisions that rule our lives, our choices, our reactions to events and events are actually the part that creates our future. We do not change our destiny in a tangible way, but if we can work the way we are going, we should change the view in the parts where we cannot change our way. It is seeing in the temporal world that one has changed by himself.

There are many factors that protect our motif. These include children's family development, whether desired or unwanted due to a caregiver's attention dimensions. We come around the world in a way and we protect whether we use it or not. The stereotypical sentence “ancestral lineage and lineage” summarizes the situation.

Children who grow up in a quiet house will be calm in the future; Raised in a quarrelsome family with loud voices, speech is likely to be combative. But do our families only affect us? No. The internal distribution environment affects our choices as well as us. Examining these motives not only includes school in the family environment, but also the childhood period among our peers. The way people dream from a very young age creates a kind of motivation. It is precisely in the different settlements that live with imagined situations that the motif of destiny comes to take over.

Growing up in the motif of destiny is the behavior that is engraved in our minds as we become accustomed to the world.

Among all these events, let's talk about a few events that will affect us in the early stages of childhood.

⁃ If childhood parents did not show enough love and compassion

⁃ If a safe environment is not prepared,

⁃ If the growing environment is fighting and showing

⁃ You are not made to feel that you are unique and valuable by family members, and you are constantly judged.

⁃ If a distinction is made between siblings and other siblings are favored

⁃ If you had to make a constant effort to be loved and accepted, but you did not receive enough attention

⁃ If you have been sexually harassed and the family has not provided you with sufficient support

⁃ If the mother or father has had a serious illness in the family for a long time and you have neglected it in this short time.

⁃ If your family is tired of coming to you with their own difficulties

⁃ If the mother's quiet, calm and unprotected nature pushed you to the task of protecting her

⁃ If parents are constantly critical and constantly set goals that are difficult to achieve

⁃ If the parents have gone through the divorce process or experienced any loss

If you have experienced this or a few of them, you probably have your signature on your motives on your destiny. Think about each item and which one you're matching, and what image it comes from and where you can change it.

You're right, most people answer, "Yes, I definitely would" as you just gave. This is not the
case at all when certain psychological fluctuating effects come into play. According to the
Bystander Effect, which has an important place in Social Psychology, if there is a situation in
a group that requires urgent help and you need to take action, your probability of helping that
person drops to a great extent when there are countless other people in the group who are
likely to help. The lower the number of people in the group, the faster the sense of
responsibility is activated and people take action for help. If only one person witnesses this
situation and there is no one else around, this is the fastest way to act. We can call it the
"Power of One". In a large group, when a person takes action for help, the new norm of the
group becomes "to help" and other people participate in the event with a ripple effect after
this person.

Researchers discovered this effect as a result of the Kitty Genovese murder in New York City
in March 1964. Kitty Genovese, 28, was stalked, raped, and repeatedly stabbed to death by a
man obsessed with her. This event lasted for half an hour, and Kitty Genovese called for help
from 38 eyewitnesses around her, screaming countless times. None of these people did
anything other than stand by, and at 35 minutes after Kitty was already dead, someone called
the police. After this incident, psychologists John Darley and Bibb Latane wondered why no
one took action, and they began to investigate the situation. They created experimental
environments that required artificial emergency assistance. Studies have revealed the above
group effects. The time taken to action for help varied greatly with the number of people in
the group. The results of the experiment were also similar to the group behavior in the Kitty
Genovese murder.

In addition to this, the concept of "de-identification" was also introduced with experiments.
According to the concept of de-identification, when such a situation occurs, the more people
around, the more people experience the "convenience of concealing their identity" and do not
take action to help. According to the ‘’Distribution of Responsibility Theory’’ , the
individual's sense of personal responsibility decreases and he becomes reluctant to help if
there are other people around. The audience effect also supports this; The person does not take action by saying that no matter how many people there are, someone else will take responsibility.

Finally, when the social experiments conducted as a result of the researches are examined, it
has been revealed that the helping behavior changes according to some cultural norms, and
the gender and dress of the person to be helped, whether it is day or night, may also affect
this situation.

Now that we have information about the Bystander Effect, we should be aware of this in
emergencies that we are under this effect and keep in mind to be that "person" who takes
action.

  Love Bombing is a type of emotional violence that a narcissistic partner applies to his partner. The purpose of this violence is to establish authority over the partner. Love Bombing, which starts with conscious or unconscious manipulations, causes the partner who is being manipulated to feel inadequate and dependent. It doesn't take long for the partner who feels above the clouds at the beginning of the relationship to be pushed down from those clouds.

   A narcissistic partner tries to become the most important person in their partner's life and make self-dependent by surprising their partner with excessive love and attention, extravagant gifts, romantic surprises, and future plans at the beginning of the relationship. Thus, the partner who has been manipulated will think that will never be loved so much again, that will not receive attention.

   The partner who has been manipulated is ignored, blamed, ignored, and made to feel worthless in an unwanted behavior while being bombarded with love as long as the narcissistic partner behaves as wants. The partner who has been manipulated tries to behave the way the partner loved as before, is afraid of doing something wrong, and self-criticism increases, as a result, self-confidence decreases, begins to feel inadequate and dependent, self-esteem decreases, begins to doubt their selves (feelings and intelligence). Over time, it makes psychological disorders such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and panic attacks inevitable. But despite all this, the partner who is being manipulated cannot be separated from the narcissistic partner.

SYMPTOMS OF LOVE BOMBING

1.            A narcissistic partner wants to know everything about his partner down to the smallest detail on the first date. Pretends to be fascinated by the pieces of information. This makes the partner feel very special and important. However, the narcissistic partner's main goal here is to collect information in order to be able to pressure and manipulate the partner with this information in the future.

2.            They tell their whole history from the first date. Thus, the partner feels empathy and closeness toward them.

3.    They constantly expect approval and compliments from their partner. Because, deep down, their self-confidence is quite low.

4.            A narcissistic partner makes very big declarations of love to their partner. He says that his partner is his soul mate, that he is very lucky to be with her, and that no one understands him but her. These words, which will easily affect a person, make the partner feel close to them.

5.            It advances the course of the romantic relationship very quickly. It is likely that said wanted to get married a week after they met. But this is a tactic. This tactic tests whether the partner will break up with them or not.

6.            Always says what their partner wants to hear. This way, the partner feels understood and approved.

7.            Wants to be with their partner constantly. Constantly texts or calls when they can't be next to each other. They want all the time and attention of their partner.

8.            Gives extravagant gifts. In this way, makes the partner feel indebted. This behavior is a tactic aimed at establishing authority in the relationship.

9.            There are intense jealousy problems. Jealous of the time spent with their partner's friends and even with family, causing the partner to feel guilty.

10.          Suddenly, can get all the attention, treat their partner badly, and even pretend that the partner doesn't exist at all. This usually happens when the partner tries to set limits or does something they don't want to do.  

HOW TO PREVENT LOVE BOMBING?

1.            First of all, it should start with learning to recognize Narcissists. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) persists with a lack of empathy, excessive attention, the need for attention and praise, and excessive self-meaning.

2.            Excessive movements at the beginning of the relationship should be carefully examined. It should be remembered that a behavior made at the beginning of a relationship that is too beautiful to be true, but exaggerated, is probably not real.

3.            Personal emotional shortcomings should be known and acknowledged. Thus, narcissistic partners cannot use these shortcomings as a means of exploitation.

4.            A healthy relationship is possible with respect, empathy, compassion, and healthy communication. Since a narcissist lacks these abilities, these concepts are very important for a healthy relationship.

5.            One should have firm views on reality. So a narcissist can't play with your reality.