Depression Due to Abandonment

First bond is established with the mother, it is established by the umbilical cord in the mother´s womb prebirth. This is why it is important to speak about established bonds The baby that established the first bond with the mother, starts to slowly walk away from the mother. The dependence is not that important to the baby anymore because it can perform the actions alone. The baby who tastes the pleasure of separation will also experience the anxiety and fear of this experience because of these feelings the baby feels the need to check the presence and closeness of the mother in order to ensure the emotional security. In this process, which we all experience, the attitude of the mother is of great importance: the mother should allow the child to act independently by making the feeling that the baby is with her.Not giving the feeling that there is no support or not allowing the child to act independently can cause great pathologies.It has been determined that mothers who cannot go through this process with their children have these attitudes due to some pathologies.It might be pathalogically unacceptable for some mothers to cut this tie with their children because the child is dependent to their mothers from the first thay they start to form in the womb.However, it should be known that it is normal for the baby to move away from the mother and start to act independently, and it has passed into the literature as‘ self-activation '. The child, whose self-activation is approved by the mother and passed in a healthy way, grows up as a self-confident individual who can make their own decisions at a later age, who is not afraid to be alone, who does not need constant approval by their environment. However, the child who cannot spend the self-activation in a healthy way may experience what Masterson defines as‘ DEPRESSION DUE TO ABANDONMENT ‘when the child does not get the necessary support and emotional support from the mother when the child wants to crawl away from the mother who is first bond and walks away. The child who experiences this situation develops a passive, cowardly and dependent personality in future life by being conditioned as’ if I perform my self-activation, I will be abandoned '. Although individuals who experience this situation have a successful career in their lives or a life in which they are very comfortable financially, it is very difficult for them to eat alone in a restaurant, buy clothes alone or make decisions about their marriage without the opinion of the people around them. It has been observed that individuals whose independent movements and self-activation are approved and supported by their parents can cope with some difficulties in their lives, even if they are alone, and can be successful in difficult conditions and make fast and correct decisions.

J.F.Masterson, who introduced Depression Due to Abandonment to the literature, said, ’If the mother cuts off the emotional fuel she provides to her child (life energy ,libidinal energy…), the child will experience child abandonment depression. No matter how much pain an individual who loses a limb or organ feels, the baby who experiences abandonment depression also feels this level of pain. When we move to a different city, end ties with our lover or when we lose a family member. It is actually a fragment of infant abandonment depression. The traces of childhood feelings can be seen at later ages, so childhood should be spent as healthy as possible and without leaving deep scars. As Edip Cansever said, ‘Like the blue sky, childhood is not going anywhere.' Let childhood be like the blue sky and not slip away anywhere.

References

 Psychotherapy institute//masterson.com magazine park//abandonment depression exisosis//1923